Monday, May 10, 2010

Here I Come Again...

Its been a while, I know.

There are many, and I do mean many, reasons for my long unanticipated absence. There were some bad flares, and some great weeks when I had to take advantage of NOT having such bad flares. But then there was something else too...

It was...well, I caught myself being too nice all of a sudden. The RA blogging community is small, and we certainly must support each other; that much is clear. But showing support doesn't mean that we necessarily have to agree all the time. I was having a harder and harder time disagreeing with some of the bloggers that I have come to think of as friends.

And even more than that, I started becoming a little too aware of my readers. Like once when I wrote that post about how all the cancer awareness crap sometimes makes me resentful, and then I heard from a reader who had both RA and Cancer, and I ended up feeling like a big o'l bitch (and not the super kind). From there on out, I would start writing about something that bugs me, and I would pause and think "What if one of my readers does that same thing, and so this offends her?"

And so I had to step away for a while...try to live and be and do all things with this horrible disease. So that I could observe these experiences and bring them to you guys again UNcensored AND REAL! SO if you'll allow me to, I'd like to try again to start making entries regarding some of the more annoying things with which I dealt while I was away.

I would have liked to start even soon, but alas, let me share with you the LAST excuse for being absent so long...It comes under the heading of: Annoying fat in-laws who think that 1.)They know what is best for me. Even know they 2.)don't have RA, are not medical drs., nor have they barely even spent more than 2 minutes researchingthe disease. They also think 3) that they won't look EXACTLY like the abominable snowman in their size 38 wedding dress, but that's just one more example of their very poor judgement.

Yet, I've been subjected to their little "discssions" (read: lectures) several times each of the past few months. I'm seriously about to go over to facebook and make some really rude comment (you know how I'm famous for my snarky FB comments). Something that says something akin to: Thanks for all of your great advice about the disease that you don't have, but the wedding is right around the corner, so you may want to start working on your strategy for not being called the "second wife that is exactly double the size of the first one." I'm not quite sure how that's going to go over, so maybe I'll just keep writing here to keep myself sane.

So thanks for welcoming me back. I'll get straight to work on both updating you guys some more and doing something once and for all with our book disucssion.

And speaking of Facebook, please please pretty please use the link on the left to join us over there. We can make mini snarky comments to each other all day long over there, and you never know...You might inspire my next entry. Oh, and if while you are there, you want to make jokes about the fat bride that told my husband, "Would it really be so bad if she had to use a wheelchair?" I would seriously be ok with that. As in, I may nominate you for a Nobel Peace Prize.

On a serious note, thanks for caring everyone. And reading. I keep all of you in my prayers on a reg. basis. You have no idea. xoxo



  1. Great to see you back! You have me laughing at your bride comments. I say let all your feelings come on out. Personally, I take everything I read on blogs with a grain of salt. It's your opinion and you're entitled to it! (Of course, it helps that I usually agree with you!!)

  2. Good to see you posting again. I know what you mean about censoring stuff based on what readers have said. Don't do it. The blog is yours to write what you wish. I think it's good to hear the perspective of different people.

  3. I'm so glad to see you back! Your blog and Amanda's blog are my favorite ones to read! I love the honesty and the fight I hear in your voices through words! Keep up the good work....say what you feel...your blog rocks and I've missed ya! I will join you on FB!

  4. Hi SB,

    I'm new to the blogging world, but I've followed you for a couple months now. I've read several of your posts to my husband. We've laughed and identified with a lot. Girl, you are my alter ego. I appreciate you letting things fly. I find therapy in it. : ) I'm really happy to see you back. Keep those snarky comments coming!

  5. Love your posts. I admire the fact you can say what you feel. I have spent most of my RA life nodding and smiling and holding back, then later complaining to my husband who will either smile and nod lol or join in the complaints. See you on facebook.

  6. Glad you're back, and keep the snark coming! (I don't think snark is a real word, but oh well.) I know exactly what you mean about being too aware of your readers. I especially fall into this trap when I want to write a whiny post - I feel guilty when I think of the bloggers out there who keep things positive and spunky. But it's always been my goal to keep things honest, and sometimes that means whining, or bitching, or saying things that other people may not like. Thanks for reminding me of this.

  7. For real! I do understand the being aware of other readers- I think all of us are conscious of that- but at the end of the day, it's your blog and people read you to read about your experiences. Also, please dear God do not let the size 38 wedding dress lace up the back. (Mental picture of it being a little tight and you'll know why I say this. Yes, going to hell- see you there.) I'm glad you're back!!!

  8. You are you - don't change because others don't like you or like something about you. :) And eventually, they will go home. We hope - I'll say a prayer for you because I really want to laugh but I feel sorry for you. (By the way, my in-laws are dead.:)

  9. Thanks everyone - I swear you guys leave the BEST comments. I've missed all of you. And Cindy, I LOVED your comment about spending your life nodding and smiling. Don't we all do that? I hope this site gives you a small bit of courage to speak your mind. ALL OF YOU give me that same courage IRL. And Kelli, your comment about reading these aloud to your hubby made me so happy, for myself b/c you liked it that much, but also for you, that you have a marriage that sounds so much like mine: wonderful, supportive, and full of humor. And Amanda, you just make me laugh. Period. Welcome to my new peeps, and Hello again to Les, Lana, Rem. Warm Socks, MaybeMamma and all my old friends!

  10. Well. Longtime no write! Welcome back, SB! So glad you decided to just say "f*ck you all" and write exactly what you want. I'm sure that we all have qualities that our blogosphere friends wouldn't like so much, but you know, the qualities they DO like far outweigh those. And if we can't read another's blog without getting all huffy and feeling targeted, then we need to put our grown-up caps back on straight -- or move on. I LOVE your no-holds-barred approach. It's wonderfully refreshing and downright snickerlicious. Just keep it up.

    Also, I hope the bride's girdle is too tight and her armpits itch,

  11. hahahahahahahaha Wren - You deserve the award for making me laugh through my pain today. That girdle comment was hilarious. It produced such an image I wish I could send you the bridezilla's picture.

    RA SB

  12. So glad your back. Have been reading your blog for a while and it cracks me up. Go on and say just what you like. Life is already too serious to worry about censoring yourself on a blog.