It has been a busy time for the Superbitch. I have been simultaneously coming to grips with the fact that my life has been altered likely forever, spent time in the hospital because of my RA, spent time in the hospital because of an unrelated issue, and have tried in general to live the life of a busy Mom who is getting ready for Christmas and putting on a happy face for her kid, her friends and her relatives.
Up until last week, I have pretty much felt like I have come up lacking this year in terms of accomplishing most of my goals, both long term and short. We are still financially unstable. I am still struggling to find adequate treatment for my disease. I am behind on my Christmas baking, and my hair is in desperate need of some professional attention.
And then... a Christmas miracle...Well, 2 of them.
The first is that I started a new drug, a new NEW drug. That is right, one of the newbies. And while I am not going to be running any marathons anytime soon, I will say that coming from where I stared only 2 weeks ago -- which was pretty much hospitalized with horrible swelling and pain-- I have not only gotten back to where I was before this horrible autumn, but each day I am seeing some small improvement. So perhaps there is some hope on the horizon. I watch with cautious optimism. As we all know, I've been fooled before...as in 6 years of being fooled. I know, I know - I'm slow!
The second thing that happened is my very sweet neighbor came by with some treats. Now my neighbor is not ill. She is my age, a college professor, childless. Her home is always spotless. Oh yes, and did I mention she is getting another degree in her spare time?
Upon walking into my home, her hands flew to her hair and I saw something lovely come upon her countenance: panic! Yes! She suddenly exclaimed that she had no idea how I had managed to put up my tree, decorate it, shop for dozens of presents, wrap them, put them under the tree, address Christmas cards, and do all this while recovering from a hospital stay. She admitted she was hopelessy behind the ball.
Score 1 for Superbitch!!!
And then it hit me. I had been doing what I have been doing my entire life...shooting for a 10, missing...but... landing at an 8...which is several steps higher than anyone else expected, except, of course, myself!
And I remember the exact moment I started this trend. I was a teen. I was staying with my favorite crazy Aunt that we all know and love. I came "home" to the bedroom I was occupying to find a framed quote leaning upon my pillow. It said, "Shoot for the Moon - Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
Later we talked about it, and we agreed it was great advice. But I remember now that I had been secretly thinking, "Who wants to miss? I'll land on the moon for sure."
Well, guess what...I did miss. And guess what...she was right...because I aimed so so high, I continue to achieve more than anyone expects.
So this is what I figure. I'm going to keep the moon in my sight...BUT! I'm learning to appreciate the view from where I land.